I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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