How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
