she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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