I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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