Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
