Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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