Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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