Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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