Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
