remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
