so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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