Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
