I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
