honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
