OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
