i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
