Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
