She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
