In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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