they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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