I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
