i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
