he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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