I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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