you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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