3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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