I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
