"it" just moved
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
