oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Is it penis luge time yet?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
