so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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