This house was built for laser tag.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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