We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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