But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
