i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
