just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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