Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
