When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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