I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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