Whatcha textin bout Willis?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
