I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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