We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
