I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
