I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
