Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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