I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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