so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
