U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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