Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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