Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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