I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
