My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
