i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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