Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
