I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
